Her Legacy
by Temporary Devotion
Summary: Snow has fallen, Panem is in shambles, The Mockingjay must strive to put together a fallen nation filled with fear and hope. A new ending to the Hunger Games Trilogy.
1. Snowfall

_AN: I am a huge fan of The Hunger Games Series, although I do not like the way that it ended. In my opinion, Katniss is far too strong and brilliant to end up a mum in a village, so for me this is what should have happened in the battle and forward. I hope you enjoy it. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins._

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><p><span>Her Legacy<span>

Chapter One: Snowfall

My heart never pounded so loudly. The corridor I was in was completely silent. I assumed it would be heavily protected, the Capitol's strongest fighting for their president- but no. He was waiting for me. I turned the door knob slowly, braced myself, and opened the door. I half expected to die right in that moment to be honest, but I did not. I was only greeted by Snow, sitting in his chair drinking a cup of tea, his eyes sparkling. He placed the cup down on his table and smiled at me, "Miss Everdeen, finally you arrive, I've been expecting you." My bow was already drawn, pointing at him yet I still couldn't form words. I wanted to vomit. "Here to kill me, the beloved Mockingjay." My grip on the bow tightened. He pulled something small out of his pocket. The small orb rolled between his thumb and his middle finger, raised so he could gaze at it. "Wouldn't it be funny if it all ended the same way it began? With a berry?" I was silent. "Come now, Katniss don't be-"

Those were the last words that President Snow ever said. I watched the blood trickle out of his chest and immediately fell to the ground and threw up. I had killed people in my life- I had been the cause of many deaths, but this- this was beyond everything. I waited. I waited for guards, for soldiers to come in and kill me on the spot. It seemed I was always waiting to die, but just like all the other times before, it never happened. I looked at his face, he was smiling. Mocking me even in death. I got up, and went to his large desk. _Click to record,Miss Everdeen._ I pressed the red button and a screen descended, I saw my face on it, covered in dirt, blood, and bile. I wiped my face clean, "People of Panem, I am Katniss Everdeen, the Mockingjay, symbol of the Rebellion." I took a deep breath, knowing every last person in every district was seeing me now, "Snow has fallen. The war is over. District Thirteen is victorious." I tried so hard to remain strong, to keep my voice from quivering, but to no avail, "We all fought hard. If...if you are still alive, please stay where you are, get a head count of both living and dead and wait for further instructions." I paused, "For all of those who have lost loved ones...it's over." I pressed the red button again, the screen slowly rising up. This time, I fell to the floor and I did not get up. I laid there and cried.

I cried for all I have been through, for all who have been through it. I cried about The Games, I cried about The War. I cried that Peeta may be dead, but even if he was alive he still hated me. I cried that everyone could be dead, and it was all my fault. I let all of the emotion of the past year leak out of my body, literally. I shook there, on Snow's rug. His body still bleeding and smelling of roses not six feet away from me. He seemed so small now, all of the death and misery he had caused. One man. Now departed forever. I began to dry heave, nothing left in my stomach.

"She's in here!" I heard. Suddenly I was picked up and placed in someone's lap. The comfort of human skin made me tremble. I latched onto the person, and buried myself there. Crying into them, not even knowing who it was. "I've got you, Katniss. It's okay. I've got you." Peeta. My Peeta still alive, holding me. My grip tightened, I inhaled his smell, the comforting smell that had helped me through all of this. This is where I needed to be, this was home. His hands were rubbing my hair, pushing it off my damp brow, "You're okay." He kept repeating, his voice weak and tired. More people assembled in the room, Haymitch joined us on the floor and wrapped his big arms around both of us. He didn't say anything, he was too shocked that both of us were still alive.

"Miss Everdeen, President Coin is on the phone for you."

"Does she really need to take it?" Haymitch's voice grumbled.

"Yes."

The phone was shoved in my ear, "Hello, Miss Mockingjay. Good work."

"Th-thank you, ma'am."

She laughed slightly, I was completely uncomfortable. This felt like telling my mother what I did in school today more than telling my leader that I killed the enemy. "The fighting in the street is diminishing, most of the Capitol soldiers have surrendered and have been taken into custody. You'll be staying in the Capitol building and the rest of the cabinet will be joining you in the next few days. You are in charge."

"No."

"No?" Her voice was stiff and filled with anger. I don't know why she was surprised, I hadn't made anything easy for her since I met her, I don't know why she assumed I would start listening to her now.

"Haymitch is in charge. I just want to sleep."

I shoved the phone in his face and fell back against Peeta. Haymitch took the phone call outside, and the rest of the people followed, doing a second round of the building. Peeta stayed with me, both of us fully aware that the other was not leaving for a very long time. And even though he was there holding me, and kissing my head, I still felt it. I still felt that he was unsure. I felt hesitation with every kiss, intertwined with relief and love. "I know you're confused," I said into his neck, "but..thank you." That was what had to be said. Not a deceleration of love. He knew damn well how I felt, yet I could never run out of thank yous. He saved my life time after time, he's made me feel better and made me feel alive, he's gotten me through the hell that took over both our lives when our names were called.

He cradled me, and kept his lips pressed against my head. Even though he had the memories of me that were fake, he also had the real ones up there in that mess. He knew- and for now that was enough. "Do you want to sleep?" My mind was still overflowing, trying to not think about who could be dead or dying. I nodded and he scooped me up into his arms, the Games leaving him a strong man, not the lanky boy I once knew. He carried me down to the room he had during the Games, or at least one identical to it. It was eerie. He placed me gently on the bed, and my head hit the pillow the same time he laid next to me. He wrapped his arms around me, and my hands found his. If it were up to me I would never let them go again.


	2. Meeting

Chapter Two: Meeting

I didn't wake up until the next day. Peeta wasn't in bed with me, but was in the room pulling a shirt on. It was still hard to realize how different he was from when we were young. He was always fragile and small, almost in a feminine way with his big eyes and lanky body. Even from a year ago he changed. His doe-eyes were now filled with fire, his skinny limbs now muscular. He had no idea how handsome he was. I waited a little while longer before getting out of bed. "Hey." I said quietly, my voice still heavy with sleep.

"Morning." His was too. He cleared his throat, "Coin got here early, she wants to have a meeting with us." I knew this could not be good. Coin liked to run things her way and does not let anyone influence her decisions. If she wanted to talk about something with all of us, it had to be serious. It had to be something very big, something she wouldn't want to be responsible for. I started to rip off my clothes and pulled some garments out of Peeta's drawers. He just laughed. The two of us had seen the ugliest of each other, a little flesh was not something to be embarrassed over. "Your mom and sister were here earlier, they had to leave right away though. They're gone for the week, healing in the Capitol's hospital. You can visit later they said, just wait a bit. Want to go after the meeting?" I nodded, still too groggy to make conversation.

Both of us dressed and we made our way up the meeting room. "You carried me all this way?" The walk was long, even just to the elevator.

"Of course I did, Katniss." I grabbed his hand. His hand flinched for a moment before settling comfortably into mine. "I'm sorry." I shook my head and he squeezed my hand. We continued to walk in silence to the room. "Everyone is going to know those are my clothes they're going to assume." He said nonchalantly.

I shrugged, "At this point I really could not care less what anyone thinks of me. Besides, I don't know if I even have clothes in my room from The Games. Probably some dresses..." My Cinna. The image of him being beaten and dragged away from me haunted me. He understood me, he understood how scared and angry I was. He hated it all as much as I did. To him, making me shine was the least he could do, and he did. "I could wear my wedding dress to the meeting."

Peeta smiled, "No, save it."

My tone was light, but I still felt nervous, "Why Peeta? You plan on marrying me?"

He stopped walking suddenly, making me jerk forward slightly. He turned me around, grabbed my face and lightly kissed me, "Katniss Everdeen I have planned on marrying you since I was five years old." He said against my lips. I placed my hands over his and leaned my forehead on his.

"I don't know, kid. You could do better." We pulled apart and saw Haymitch walking toward us. "She's a little violent this one." He ruffled my hair as he walked past. Peeta laughed as I glared at his back. "Come on, we have a meeting to go to."

The three of us walked the short rest of the way, chatting lightly, guessing what the meeting could be about. Haymitch assumed it would be about the presidency and titles. Peeta said it was probably about forming a new government. But I had a twist in my stomach. Coin would always get what she wanted, she wouldn't be conferencing us just for titles or ideas. She had to have something up her sleeve.

The conference room was full when we joined. President Coin at the head of the table with Johanna, Beetee, Annie, and Enobaria all settled around. I could feel Johanna glaring at me, still not pleased with my presence. I sat between Peeta and Haymitch, only feeling comfortable near them. A servant went around the table pouring everyone a cup of tea as Coin cleared her throat. "Congratulations, you are the only surviving victors left from all of The Hunger Games and The War. Since you hold this title, you will be able to decide." She paused, "The other districts are very angry at the Capitol, with reason. They have watched their children fight to the death for their amusement and they want revenge. It has been proposed that there will be another Hunger Game, with the Capitol children-"

"Are you joking?" I didn't even realize I had said something until I felt everyone staring at me, shock in all of their eyes, "They want to watch other children die? They had no say in this, they didn't know what was going on!"

"Miss Everdeen please calm down. Obviously this was not my suggestion."

"You didn't say no!" I felt the anger rise in me. Panem had just finished losing people, had just finished _killing_ people, but it wasn't enough. The thirst for innocent blood was still there.

"I said there could be a vote."

My voice lowered, "You didn't say no." I repeated. I got up from my chair and stormed out of the conference. My eyes stung, but out of frustration. Unless people were in The Games, they wouldn't understand. It was by no means for revenge. It should never have happened, I wouldn't let it happen again while I was alive. Peeta and Haymitch came after me, Peeta looking alarmed and Haymitch looking annoyed.

"Katniss, you can't storm out like that. I know you're angry, I am too but-"

"I thought it would be over." My voice was heavy.

"We'll convince the others it's not a good idea." Peeta said, grabbing my shoulders reassuringly, rubbing them slightly.

"The three of us will say no, I'm sure Annie won't agree- and then there's only two-" Before Haymitch could speak anymore there was a crash and then a scream from the conference room.

The three of us ran back in as quickly as we could. Upon entering we saw everyone slumped onto the table, a slight foam at their mouth. The servant dropped his tray and looked at us with pleading eyes. "I don't know what happened! They drank their tea and-"

Guards rushed in and took hold of us. We struggled against them, but the constant fighting from the past few days left all of us sore and weak. It was like wildfire, so fast I couldn't process what was happening. I made sure to keep Peeta in my sight until my guard stopped at one door and Peeta's and Haymitch's kept walking. "NO!" I cried out, struggling harder than ever before to break free from the man holding me.

Peeta did the same, trying his hardest to walk back toward me, "Let go of me!" He cried. "Katniss!" He got one arm free and reached out for me before being dragged away again.

"Stop! Don't take him! Don't take him again!"

He was already half way down the long corridor. I bit down on the guard's arm, making his arm fly up temporarily, it gave me just enough time. I ran away as fast as I could to Peeta who had also managed to escape his guard's grasp. When I reached him, I held on to him, knowing my guard was coming right behind me, and I didn't feel it. When he grabbed me back there was no hesitation. His touch was like second nature. He held onto me right back. He clung to me. "You'll never leave me, real or not real?"

"Real."

Fed up with trying to restrain us longer than they needed to, the guards threw us into the same room. They pulled us to opposite sides and handcuffed us to a pole that went from floor to ceiling. "What's going on?" I screamed at their backs. "Haymitch?"

"Don't worry I'll take care of it!" I heard from the hallway, and the door slammed shut.

Peeta and I sat in silence. I stared at him, amazed that I had somehow managed to stay with him. He stared right back. "They're dead." he said finally, saying what we had been avoiding. I nodded. Their bodies were lifeless, no one went to grab them out of the room. I didn't even know what happened to the servant. "How did you get away?"

"I bit him."

He laughed, "You were always the better fighter out of the two of us." I scoffed at him. "And the cuter one."

"Peeta, this is hardly the time to flirt." I blushed slightly.

"You like when I flirt with you, real or not real."

"I am not answering that."

"Katniss, we promised each other."

"Real, you idiot." I paused, "Peeta, something changed, didn't it?"

"What do you mean?"

"When you held onto me...you didn't feel the fake memories, did you?"

He stared at me, "No. How did you know?"

"I didn't feel you flinch or wait." I smiled at him, "It was like The Games, when you would hold me. The same feeling. It felt the same. What happened?"

"You could have died, and then they tried to take you from me."

My heart fluttered. I'd never tell him or admit to it, but I felt all of it. The heart fluttering, the butterflies in my stomach. I never loved him more than I did in that moment, chained to a pole, waiting to hear the worst.

Finally, Haymitch came in with the two guards at the door. He came to each of us and unlocked the handcuffs. I rotated my wrist a bit, the awkward position making it ache slightly. Peeta joined my side and grabbed my hand, "What happened?"

"They were poisoned. Snow had a spy in the kitchen for this job alone. He had been with us all the way from 13. He had been waiting all this time. He knew, all along."

"How were they poisoned?"

"Berries."

My world stopped turning. Everything became slow motion and I felt vomit creep up my throat and the color drain all the way down to my toes. Snow's last words echoed in my mind, booming, making my head throb with realization. "The servant had no idea, but the spy has already been executed...Katniss what's wrong?"

"I knew." I said numbly. The guard at the door stiffened, ready to grab me.

Haymitch stared at me, "_What?"_ My mouth opened but I couldn't say anything, "Everdeen explain yourself RIGHT. NOW."

"Snow's last words to me were, "Imagine if it all ended the same way it began. With a..." Haymitch buried his face in his hands, "I didn't think-"

"That's right you didn't think, Katniss! You didn't think!"

My cheeks were wet, and I felt the shame and agony in every corner of my body, "I'm sorry." Was all I could think of to say.

"Sorry won't bring those people back to life, Katniss! We have no President now! We have no leader. All of Panem, not just the rebellion."

"Haymitch, how could she have possibly known that's what he meant?" Peeta was rubbing my back, trying to keep me calm. "Would you be able to make that connection?"

He sighed, "No. I guess not." He turned to the guard, "Instead of babysitting innocent people, why don't you make sure there are no more spies in this building?" The guard nodded and left the room. "The two of you don't eat or drink anything until this is sorted. I mean it." He turned to me, "Katniss this is not your fault. I need you to stay strong and continue making videos. I can't have you locked away in your room tearing yourself up over this."

"Annie's dead." Was all I said to him.

"Katniss-"

"They're all- we have no-" It kept sinking in, further and further. More blood on my hands, more blood I could have prevented.

"Peeta, take her to her room."

I shook my head, "Our room." I said up to him, "Our room." He nodded.

Haymitch shook his head, "Good luck getting Effie to agree to that. I have to go answer questions about what happened. You two are under eighteen so I'll be answering for you. Go get some rest." He left, and I turned to Peeta.

"What do we do?" I cried.

He shrugged, "I don't know Katniss. We do the best we can. We get through this, just like always. We make it through together."


	3. Dreams and Nightmares

Chapter 3: Dreams and Nightmares

Effie all but had a conniption when she saw me moving my few items into Peeta's room. She was already in a state of panic, the recent death of Coin left her in charge of the floor I was on and assigning new rooms for the influx of people arriving every day. Most of district 13 was in the building now, with some families that needed help along the way. We were on floor 15 where the bedrooms began. The long circular hallway was filled with people, including myself, Peeta, Haymitch, Gale, my mother, and my sister. I only had some clothing from home that my mother had packed for me when she took the train in. Everything else was given to me here. She started to scream about morals, how wrong it was for an unmarried couple to share a bed. I stared at her blankly, Peeta started yelling back.

"I thought people from the Capitol were liberal!"

"Well, not me! We just finished a war! We need moral more now than ever!"

"I've shared a bed with her before! I've slept by her side during The Games!" She shushed us and walked away, a new train had just arrived and she had to do room assignments. We watched her pink hair rush off to the elevator. I shook my head and continued to move my things to his room. "What are you doing?"

"She said no sleeping in the same bed. She said nothing about waking up and getting ready in your room or staying there until I want to sleep." I smirked at him and he laughed, taking the pile of clothing from my arms and carrying it into his room. "Besides, Haymitch will talk to her."

"You think?" Peeta slid his key into the lock and let us both in. I walked over to his dresser and dumped the clothes in before sitting on the edge of his bed. He rolled his eyes and began to fold the wad I just dropped. His strict upbringing allowed me to be lazy.

"Yeah, I think so. He comes off as rough, but he loves us. And he knows..."

"Knows what?" I grabbed one of the pillows and threw it at him. He threw it back. "Katniss, I am being very serious and I have no idea what you are talking about." He said jokingly. I glared at him and he walked over to the bed. He rested his hands on either side of me and lowered his face, inches away from mine.

"You're the one who said you want to marry me." I said quietly, looking him dead in the eye.

He smirked, that half smile that drove me absolutely crazy. "You want to marry me. Real or not real?"

I pulled him down to me and kissed him more passionately than ever before. No cameras, no fighting, no fear. This kiss was just the two of us and everything we've ever wanted to do since the first. My hands found his hair, and made a mess. I felt him moan into my mouth and I smiled. He nibbled on my lower lip and I felt the same fire in my belly, only so much more intense. The kiss got deeper, our tongues swirling and exploring. Finally knowing we had all the time in the world to kiss and kiss and kiss.

I wasn't even thinking. Everything right now was him. Peeta's lips, Peeta's hair, Peeta's skin. I was devouring him, every last drop of my beautiful baker boy. I leaned down on the bed, and he came down with me, my legs wrapped around his torso and he moved down to my neck, nibbling on my ear. My grip around him tightened and I felt him smirk against my neck, but I couldn't find words to yell at him. I couldn't even breathe. "Real." I said into his ear. "Real. Real. Real." I repeated.

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><p>It wasn't until around eleven that Effie knocked on Peeta's door. "Katniss! You need to go to your room now!" Peeta and I were under the covers, telling stories and kissing. We tried our best to remain silent but couldn't help giggling. It was the kind of atmosphere where everything was funny.<p>

"Maybe if we're quiet she'll go away." I said, biting my lip. My chin was resting on his chest and my legs were dangling on his. He grabbed my head and kissed the top of it.

"Maybe if you keep quiet!" He said smiling.

"Katniss I know you are in there! Stop ignoring me!" We both laughed again, louder this time, before Effie used her master key to enter the room. "Out! It's late, I gave you far more much time than I should have! You'll see him in a few hours, let's go!" I rolled my eyes and threw the covers off of us. I was wrapped in one of Peeta's shirts and a pair of his sweatpants from training. They were both far too large for me, but they were still perfect.

Peeta got up too and walked over to me, he planted one last kiss on my lips, "Goodnight, Katniss. I love you."

"I love you." I whispered back. It was the first time we said it, but we have loved each other for a long time, and we always knew. We smiled at each other, the kind of smile only two people in love could share. A smile full of understanding and beauty. I looked back at Effie, whose expression had softened greatly. I thought she was going to let me stay for a moment, but she remained adamant at the door waiting for me. I walked across the hall to my room, not ten feet away, identical to Peeta's, but somehow not as comfortable. "Goodnight, Effie." I said before shutting the door lightly. I crawled into my bed and settled for what I thought would be a quiet night asleep.

Before I knew what was happening, I shot out of my bed and screamed. My heart stopped beating and I was sobbing. Images of Snow passed through my mind, laughing at me, killing Prim, killing Peeta, killing Gale. His last words over and over. Peeta rushed into my room and onto my bed. He knelt in front of me, "Katniss! What's wrong?" I threw myself into his arms and sobbed.

Haymitch barged in with Effie, both of them looking scared and confused "Kat, what happened?" Haymitch said, concern in his voice.

I held onto Peeta, not able to say anything. I couldn't answer, I had no idea what had happened. The only thing I knew was that no one would ever take him from me. I didn't care if it would cost my life, I would protect him. I would keep him safe. "Snow." I finally said between sobs. Peeta rubbed my back, and rocked me back and forth, placing the occasional kiss on my head, shushing me and telling me all of the reassurances I needed to hear. I felt my heart rate return to normal and I pulled my face away from Peeta's shoulder. "Don't leave me." I pleaded, looking into his eyes with my teary ones.

"Never."

Effie went to protest but Haymitch put a hand on her shoulder, "Just for tonight Effie. Look at her, she's a wreck. They're not going to do anything."

"Well...I suppose." Even if she had said no, I would have followed Peeta into his room. Being near him was the only thing that made me feel safe, and was also the only way for me to know he was safe. Even when I had pulled away, my hands were still gripping his so tight, my knuckles were white. "This is just for tonight!" She said sternly, pointing at both of us. We nodded and the pair left, turning off the light on the way out. The only light in the room was the full moon shinning in from my window, giving my room a faint, comforting glow.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't even remember most of it. Just...everyone I love dying and Snow laughing the entire time. Something about the berries." I shook my head, and laid back down. Peeta joined me and pulled the blankets up around us.

He pulled me into him, my body fitting against his perfectly, "He's dead Katniss. He's not coming back. He can't hurt you or anybody else ever again."

"I know. I just can't help thinking. All of the times we both should have died. It's scary."

He pulled me tighter, "Come on Katniss, would I ever let anything happen to you? I would die before letting anything harm you."

"I know, and that's the scariest part of all."

We were silent after that. He stroked my hair idly, waiting for me to fall asleep first, not wanting me to be panicked again. I pulled his hands up to my lips and gave them one last kiss, and I was able to drift off to sleep, nightmare free, in the arms of the boy I love. This time comforted that I could feel him and that no one would be able to take him from me.

The nightmares continued every time I fell asleep without Peeta for the next six days. Every night I would wake up screaming and Peeta would bolt into my room, slamming his door and mine, not caring about making noise. Eventually Effie got tired of the broken sleep, between my screaming and the slamming doors. The people on the floor also started to complain and were asking for new rooms, away from me. She gave in and let me move my things into Peeta's room. The nightmares would still occur, but never as harshly, and when I would wake up, I would see Peeta next to me, and be able to return to sleep. Soon the nightmares vanished completely, and Snow was only able to haunt me while I was awake.

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><p><em>AN: I know Prim is supposed to be dead, but...I just couldn't. Finnick was hard enough, and then Annie in this story. I couldn't have Prim as well. Thank you to my two reviewers, and yes I will continue this story even if those are the only two I receive, don't worry dears. I hope you have enjoyed and will continue to enjoy.<em>


	4. Second In Command

Chapter 4: Second In Command

I did not want to admit it. I did not want to think about it. No one did. But everyone knew. The way things were running now were only a temporary fix. I was making videos as the Mockingjay. Effie and Haymitch were in charge of different sections of the Capitol building since Paylor vanished after a week of being in charge. My mother and Prim were still in the hospital, victims from different districts arriving each hour. Gale was in charge of sending out shipments of food and water to the places that needed it most. Peeta was taking care of the survivors in the Capitol, working on relocating them until their homes were safe and clean again. Everything was hectic. There was barely enough time to eat- but all of us knew that eventually I would stop making videos, and everyone would either heal or die, and everyone would go home. Eventually all the chaos would stop, and then it would be time to rebuild Panem. It would be time for a new president.

The new government was still being established, but the basics of Panem were set, including having a president in the Capitol, which would be renamed Central. Instead of being above all the districts, this place would only be in the middle of it all. The knot that would hold Panem together, politically and emotionally. The legalities were still being drawn out, but we all decided that each district would have a representative in Central along with the President. That way no one person would be in total control, and that each district had a say in what happened to Panem.

Haymitch was the obvious choice, but he was adamant about not becoming president. He said he would continue to drink until his liver gave out, which he expected to be in the next ten years. He had his full of being responsible for other people. He wanted to live out the rest of his life peacefully, without having to train new tributes and then watch them die. He said he wanted to be with his "kids" and watch them grow up, for the first time. He did not want to be bothered with having to keep a clean image, "You and Peeta already know what I'm like. I can't be that way if I'm president." He had a point, but I stood by my argument that he would lead a successful nation.

The next choice was Effie, the only one of the District Advisers to stay with her district throughout the war. Her loyalty was admirable but she was too easily startled and she knew it. She could barely handle Peeta and I, let alone an entire nation. If anything would go wrong, the poor woman wouldn't know what to do. She said she'd love to be secretary and continue to organize, something she loved doing and something she thrived at.

Everyone knew, but no one wanted to admit it. I was too young.

I wanted it to be Peeta. He was the one who could communicate with people. He was the one who was able to win everyone over, with his soothing voice and kind eyes. He would be able to compromise and work with people until everyone was happy. He was perfect for it. I was just a stubborn girl with a good vocabulary.

But Panem had looked up to me, the Girl on Fire. All the districts had watched me lead them to victory. I gave them hope when all hope seemed lost. In Panem's darkest hour, I was the light. I was the one who had guided them through the war, I was the spark that started the flame. I was the Mockingjay, symbol of the Rebellion, of the New Panem. My face was the one the people had grown used to. It was almost poetic in a way, aiding in the fall and then rise of Panem, except for the fact that I would have to be ruling an entire nation.

Peeta reassured me everyday. He told me how brilliant I would be and how brilliant I had always been. The thought made me nauseous. I wasn't even eighteen yet, and everyone I encountered made it a point to tell me how wonderful I would be as President. Even Gale, who used to tease me that I could barely keep track of prey, was now encouraging me to keep track of a country. Every time he would see me in the halls, or in meetings, or at breakfast; he would always address me the same way, as President Catnip Mellark. I didn't know which title made me more uneasy: the title of President or the title of Mellark.

It's not that planned on not on marrying Peeta, I did, but hearing it from Gale, who I thought I was going to marry for a large portion of my life, didn't settle right with me. I figured we'd have something more confrontational. Something more finalizing, but we didn't. Gale just knew I would never be able to love anyone like I loved Peeta. I would never be able to live without him. I could live without Gale; I would be miserable, but I could. I would die without Peeta. Life without him was impossible to imagine, literally, because I know if he ever died, I would too.

Peeta had gotten me through the darkest, scariest points in my life, and I had done the same for him. No one in the world knew what it was like to fight to keep someone alive, even if it meant your own death, and cheating those odds _twice_, and then being lucky enough to survive a war together. Not having Peeta by my side would mean I failed all that I promised to myself in The Games. Usually only one can leave the arena, meaning that no one else in the entire world knows exactly what happened to each Victor. All the Victors were entirely alone in their experience. There was no one to talk to, to help put the demons at bay. I was lucky enough to not only live, but to make it out with the love of my life by my side. I don't know why we were different, but I've never been more grateful for anything in my entire life.

It could have been like all the other Games. Very easily either one of us could have died at any point. Then one of us would have won and none of this would have happened. Snow would be sitting in his office right now, planning next year's Games, and I would be home in District 12 or dead. If I had accepted one of us having to die in that moment, right this second twenty-three murders would be being planned. A decision I made without even thinking lead to a change in my life and all the lives of the people of Panem. But if I was given the chance to do it all again, I would. I wouldn't even think about it. Of course I regret that innocent people have died because of me, but at the very least, their deaths were not in vain. Their deaths were for something greater, instead of just entertainment. Never again would a mother have to kiss their child for maybe the last time and watch them brutally die miles and miles away. Never again would a sister or brother be lost; or a lover, or a best-friend just for television.

I didn't like to think about it, but all of it was sort of my fault. I was never alone, an entire rebellion had formed without my knowledge. But I began and ended this war. It only seemed right that I take care of the mess that I left, and try to make it as beautiful as I knew it could be.


	5. All is Fair

Chapter 5: All is Fair

"It's for the press, Katniss!"

"No! Absolutely not!"

I glared at the cabinet around me, my cabinet. My cabinet because I was president. I was elected in a private meeting the night before. Haymitch, Effie, Peeta, two of Coin's members who I had grown fond of, Grove and Legami, and I were the ones who voted. I voted for Peeta. Everyone else voted for me. A seventeen year old girl was in charge of an entire country, with Peeta as my vice president. We all knew I was just a front though, as always. I was the image of the people and the voice of all the survivors. Peeta and I were the faces they sent out while the four of them made all the decisions, including the one they were trying to persuade me to agree to now.

I tried to tell them it was the biggest mistake of their lives. I was a fighter. I was a survivor. I was many things, a president was not one of them. Most importantly, I was a child. I knew I had been through more turmoil in my short years than most adults had been through in their entire lives, but yet, I was still looking for the place where I could finally breathe easy. To find a lazy day somewhere in my mess. For once not to feel the pressure and stress that I had since my father died. The world seemed to be against this wish.

"You love him, don't you?" I didn't respond. It was a question that they knew the answer to, the question that would be held against me in this situation. I glared at Haymitch to help me, but his gaze was cast down. He knew it was a good idea, even if it would upset 'his kids'. Even I knew it was a good idea, but that didn't mean it was the right thing to do. "Don't you?" Effie repeated

"And what did Peeta have to say about this?"

Haymitch snorted, "The kid dreams about marrying you I don't think he needs an excuse, but he'll take one."

"Just like the games, right? Kiss him a few times make everyone feel all happy. Do I get presents for every kiss this time too?" sarcasm dripped in my voice. "I had hoped that it would be on our terms when we would get married- if we even got married. Not something involving everyone else."

Effie's voice became softer, "Panem loves the two of you- it wasn't just the Capitol. An engagement would bring joy and celebration to the districts, it would help it heal. People would find a reason to smile. There would be good news on their televisions for once."

"So why don't you marry Haymitch?" I was being childish and I knew it. I couldn't help it. Honestly I did think I would marry Peeta. I thought that we would rebuild Panem, go back home, get married, maybe have children, and finally be left alone. Live in a world without The Games. I knew though, I knew The Games would always be apart of Panem, because if we ever forgot them, we would have fought for nothing. I sighed, "Bring Peeta in here, I'm not having this conversation without him."

Grove got up to get the phone on the other side of the room. Effie sat a polite distance from both Haymitch and myself. I grabbed my water and chugged it down, feeling my throat get dry with panic. Legami grabbed the pitcher and poured me another glass, I smiled at her. She was more of a motherly figure than a co-worker. Peeta walked in a few moment later, his ID card dangling from his neck. He sat beside me and grabbed my hand underneath the table. I blushed slightly, and looked away from him.

"What's wrong, you said this was urgent. Is there an uprising in District 2 again?"

"No, nothing bad." Haymitch said. "Katniss, why don't you explain to him, it may be less awkward. We can meet again after dinner with your final decision." I nodded and the four adults filed out of the room, Haymitch stopping to ruffle my hair before exiting.

The door clicked close and we immediately became more comfortable. We turned our chairs toward each other and rested our feet together, "What is it, Ms. President?"

"Don't call me that." I said half joking, half serious. "Well, I can try to sugar coat this or I can be blunt about it."

"Try blunt."

"They want us to get married." I spat out. His eyes got wide and his mouth opened a tad. He tried to find words for a few moments before finally finding what he wanted to say.

"Try sugar coating."

I slapped his arm lightly, "I'm not joking. They think that it'll be good for Panem to have some good news and celebration and a big party-"

"I really don't care why." He said, looking hard into my eyes. I could see everything going on his mind. A mixture of happiness and confusion.

I felt a little ache in my chest, something I was not expecting. I was expecting him to agree right away like Haymitch said. I was not expecting an 'I don't care' "Oh. Then I guess I should-"

"I care that I love you." He said. His hands were grasping mine so tight that his knuckles were white. "I know I would marry you right now, right this second- I would have married you last week if I could have. I know how I feel is how I'll always feel." He paused and lifted his hands to my cheek. "I just need to know that from you, this is not just a publicity stunt like the Games. I'm not saying that you don't love me, but I need to know that you won't be marrying me because you think it's the right thing to do for Panem. I need you to think it's the right thing for you. I need you to know that ten years from now, we're still married. We're married when you're not president anymore. We're married if we live here or in District 12 or on the Moon. You and me forever, Katniss. I need to know that this is real. So…" He grabbed my hands again and got down on his knee, "You want to marry me, real or not real."

"Real." Absolutely no hesitation. I loved Peeta, and for once in my life that was enough. He leaned up and kissed me deeply. My baker boy, he made everything better. He was right, it didn't matter why. Peeta would always be in my life, if he was my husband or not. "Besides, engagements can last a very long time." I said between kissing.

"Years." He agreed and pulled me down again. I smiled against his lips and he pulled away. He fiddled with something in his back pocket. He grabbed my hand and slipped a ring on the finger.

"…What?" I was confused. I knew he didn't know about the plan, he would have told me as soon as he found out. We didn't keep secrets from each other.

He laughed slightly, "I've been planning on asking you for a long time."

"I know, since you were five I hear." I smiled at him.

He shook his head and pulled me down into his arms, "President Mellark, you are ruthless."

* * *

><p><em>AN: My laptop broke. I sent it to get fixed and it came back more broken. I don't want to talk about it. Also I got a job so…sorry for the lateness but I like this. I tried to show more of Katniss's rebellious side, but then her maturity. I like the idea of Peeta walking around with a ring in his pocket.<em>


	6. Riot

Chapter Six: Riot

Panem's first big milestone after The War was cleaning up the newly named Central. The streets were clear, the bodies moved, and the residents that were still alive and not staying in the Capitol Building for questioning, were able to move back into their homes. Electricians were able to turn the power back on in all the houses that once were empty. Shop owners began to open again, and everyone began going back to work or getting a new job. Central still supplied food and water for everyone in Panem, Snow's bank account could afford to feed Panem for centuries- but people still wanted to get out of their houses. They wanted to forget the devastation of the past few weeks.

The Hospital was finally starting to slow down as well. I saw my mother and Prim for more than an hour for the first time. Every time I looked into Prim's eyes I grew sadder, seeing how old her eyes were and how much she had been through at such a young age. She said the same exact thing about me. My mother was doing better than Prim or I expected. We figured her being near death again would cause her to fall back into her depression, but the opposite happened. Seeing how many people died, she was grateful to have both of her children still alive. Something not many people could say.

Snow had spies in every district. The number of causalities was shocking. We all figured The Capitol would suffer many loses but the rest of the districts would be fine. Snow's soldiers shot and killed anyone who showed allegiance to the Rebellion, all done in secret with no trace of who did it or why. Once Snow was pronounced dead, the people in the districts were able to band together with new found hope. There weren't many people left, but all of those left were very brave.

My title was officially broadcasted to Panem. We started to receive letter and phone calls, all about the hope they had with Peeta and I in position. That now Panem could have the glory it had years ago. No pressure. Anyone who brought it up in Central knew I would ignore them. All of us were working hard and deciding what to do. I didn't want to hear it. What I was doing was no more important than what everyone else was doing. Even Peeta began to get letters. We planned on announcing the engagement, but something terrible happened.

We got a call that a bomb went off in District 2, and now there were riots happening in the streets. Apparently half the people there were dedicated to Snow and planned to overthrow the new Government. Peeta didn't want me to go. My mother didn't want me to go. Even Haymitch didn't want me to go. They said I'd be their first target.

"You want me to stay here?" I asked dumbfounded, "I've lasted two Games and a war, I'm pretty sure I can handle a riot."

"You would be shot the second you got off the train." Peeta said. He was always on my side, or I could convince him to be, but right now he was adamant. He said he wanted to go, but all I had to do was give him one look and he knew I would never let him go if I wasn't there. Just like he would never let me. "I know we lost a lot of people, but our army is still strong. They'll go in, execute the spies, and bring the wounded here. You being there would be dangerous."

Eventually, after arguing and some glass throwing, it was decided that Peeta and I would not go. The solders were to be gone no longer than five days, but they had enough food for a month. The hospital started to clear out some people who could rest at home, we knew we were about to have a huge rush of people. Especially if other district spies got any ideas.

The next morning I got up early, put on one of Peeta's sweaters and an old pair of pants. My hair went in the hood completely and I grabbed a pair of his reading glasses. The sun was just coming up and I knew the train would be leaving soon. I tiptoed around the room and threw some belongings in my bag. Before I left the room I looked at Peeta, still passed out in our bed. I kissed his head softly and pondered what he would do if he woke up and I was gone. Most likely get on a train and drag me home himself. I smiled and kissed him again.

The air outside was bitter with the start of fall. Central didn't have many trees, but I'm sure they were changing. The quiet felt good. No one was telling me where to go or what to do or who to marry. I was just walking through the City. Something I had taken for granted.

I got to the train station and people were already boarding to get to District 2. The supplies were packed the night before. I said goodbye to some friends who were all shocked to see me, and relieved that I was not getting on the train. The bag on my shoulder weighed a hundred pounds. I missed when no one knew who I was. The train pulled away slowly, as I waved I felt an arm go around my shoulder.

"Cheer up Katnip, they'll be fine." Gale squeezed the arm, bringing me closer to him."Nice rock by the way."

"Thanks." I blushed and leaned into him, "You're not going, right?"

"Who me?" He chuckled, "I've had my share of fighting. I'm hunting for food for everyone right now. In our glory, Kat. You would love it, if you weren't stuck in your meeting room all day. Also the train just left, idiot."

I responded to the last part of his sentence by elbowing him in the ribs. "Trust me. Don't be surprised if I show up with my bow in the near future."

"What's stopping you?" He looked down at me. Everything. We were planning the new Republic. Planning where food was being sent. House and room assignments. Interrogations. Relocating the members of the Rebellion, trying to send them all home. Rebuilding actual buildings. Getting supplies from all the other districts to distribute them. Construction in District 12, and now 2 depending on how bad everything was. Oh and planning an engagement.

He saw my mind going a million miles an hour, "Relax Katnip I'm teasing you. I know how overwhelmed you are. Once things die down though, you owe me a hunting date." I blushed again and moved away from his slightly. "Well, not a date...When's the big day?"

I shrugged, "We were supposed to plan and announce today. Then this happened." The train was long gone but we remained on the platform. The very same platform I got off of with Peeta on the way to what I thought was my certain death. "I wanted to go."

"Even I know that's stupid."

"I almost did. I almost put on a disguise and got on. How am I not supposed to fight, Gale?"

"Why do you think I'm here? I know you." He did know me. He grew up next to me, and I thought he would be the one I grew old with. Everything was different now. "No matter what, I watch your back and you watch mine. Nothing will never change that."

"Nothing." I agreed.

"You really love him?" He didn't look angry, or betrayed, he just looked hurt. The odds of us being in this situation were astronomical. I should be dead. Gale should be home, hunting illegally, trading in the Hob. I may have be thrown into a whirlwind, but I wasn't the only one.

"I do. With..._everything_ I have." I nodded, I wasn't going to lie to him. If Gale hated one thing, it was dishonesty. I owed him the absolute truth, and I knew he would do the same for me if the situation was reversed. No matter how much it all hurt, no matter how much changed, nothing would hurt more than finding out my best friend had lied to me. I didn't trust many people, Gale was one of the first to gain my trust and respect. He's also had it the longest. "I should get back. Peeta will be waking up soon. If I'm gone he'll panic."

"Wouldn't want that now would we?" His tone was sarcastic, but he kissed my forehead.

"Are you coming?"

"Nah, I think I'm gonna walk around some more. Clear my mind."

There was so much I wanted to say to him. To thank him and tell him he was my best friend. To remind him we kept each other alive. An array of random thoughts and memories, just to keep talking. Instead I nodded towards him and set off back toward the Central building.

When I got back in the room, Peeta was still asleep. He didn't even move from when I left almost two hours beforehand. I threw the sweater back in the drawer and crawled into bed. Peeta wrapped his arms around me and cuddled the crook of my neck. I held onto his arms. He would never have know how close I was to leaving.

* * *

><p><em>An: This is so long but I like it. Vacation was fun and thanks for all the reviews last chapter, a lovely surprise for me. Someone said they wanted more Gale, and I agreed as soon as I read it- so here you go, dear. I hope you all liked it!<em>


	7. The Boy Who Beats the Odds

Chapter Seven: The Boy Who Beats the Odds

Five days passed. Then six. Then ten. Then fifteen, and not one word from our troops. No phone calls, letters, or any form of communication from anyone. The train didn't even come back. I waited everyday at twelve, hoping I would see the smoke coming towards the station with some kind of news, but I never did. With each passing day I grow more worried, anxious, and angry. My friends, my soldiers were out there fighting against I didn't even know what. They could all be dead for all I knew. Haymitch tried to calm me down, reminding me that talking on the phone isn't one's main priority while in a battle. I agreed with him, but the knot in my stomach did not.

All the cameras in District 2 were destroyed, I couldn't see what was happening at all. Every time I turned on the television I was met with static and then words would flash on the screen, '_Communication not available, please check again later.' _And no matter how many times I waited, it was always later. I couldn't help but feel it was a ploy to get me there, a way to summon me. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't working. Just the sight of _something_ would give me so much relief. Safe civilians, a functioning hospital, soldiers of the rebellion still alive, spies in custody. Anything.

"What's taking so long?" I screamed at the static where District 2 should be. I threw the remote to the floor and let out a cry of frustration.

"Katniss, calm down." Peeta soothed, he came into the small room, wrapped his arms around me and rested his head on my shoulder.

I sighed and placed my hand on top of his head, "I can't stand this, Peeta."

"I know. You think I can?"

I scoffed, "Please. You were made for a cushy office job. Charismatic, logical, smart, great smile." I ruffled his hair, "Me? I'm a fighter. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't be president. I should be out there, kicking ass and being the Mockingjay."

"Forget everyone else's devastation. If you went out there and you got hurt or died, I don't know what I would do with myself."

"You'd be fine without me."

"Actually I'd be lost without you." I didn't reply, just rested my head onto his and held his hands around my waist. He was the one and only reason I wasn't gone. Quite honestly, I didn't care that I was president. Everyone was telling me it was best for Panem for me to stay here, but to me the best thing would be for me to protect it and go fight. I wouldn't let Peeta go. Out of the two of us, I was the better fighter, I was stronger, I was the hunter. I wouldn't let him anywhere near warfare again. He had survived and it was miraculous, I wouldn't let him be put up to the odds for a fourth time. To me, his life was more valuable than mine. "Don't go, Kat. I know you and I know you want to."

"I almost did." I said quietly.

"I know."

"What? How-?"

"You didn't fold my sweatshirt back up."

"Really? That's all it takes?" He pulled me closer. Of course it was. He knew me better than I knew myself. He had been with me through the lowest points in my life, and almost my death…twice. Even if I hadn't thrown it back into his drawer, he would have known, just like Gale. Except unlike Gale, he knew I wouldn't do it. "If you could do it all over again and not have your name called at the reaping, would you do it?"

"Never." He said without hesitation. "Whatever happened, it lead me to right here, with you in my arms, wearing the ring I gave you. I wouldn't change a single thing. Would you?"

"Never. I love you, and I know a lot of people were lost, but we sparked something….we saved so many lives. No one will ever have to play in the Games again. If we didn't go, that might not have happened." I smiled, "Also, I love you."

"You said that already."

I turned around and went to place my lips to his, but we were interrupted. "There you are! Effie and I have been looking all over this damn building! The train just got in, it was hijacked, Snow's army from District 2 is in Central." Haymitch was out of breath and panicking. His eyes were wide, relived to finally have found us. "I need the two of you to go into your rooms and stay-"

"No." I said, "I'm not hiding anymore!"

"Katniss, don't be stubborn!"

"I agreed to not going, I never agreed to not fighting. My family is here, everyone I love is here and I'll be damned if anyone is harmed while I'm here…Where are the soldiers that were sent?" Haymitch stood there quietly. "Where are they?" I repeated, slowly. "They're dead aren't they?" I pulled away from Peeta and kissed him quickly. "Stay here. Please. I promise I'll be back soon."

He cupped my face "You think I'm letting you go alone?"

"It was worth a shot."

"The two of you are not-"

"As your president I order you to let me fight!"

"Nice try, Katniss. I don't care what title is in front of your name-"

"You put it there."

"You're not going anywhere!"

Peeta and I shared a glance before charging out of the room. We sprinted down the hall, to the stairs, and down to the entrance of the building. We had weapons stored in the safe at the entrance. My bow and arrows for me, obviously, and a sword for Peeta. We grabbed everything in there and went outside. The streets were deserted, the people of Central either hiding in their homes or blissfully unaware about what was happening. In the distance we could see about twenty soldiers coming our way, most likely Careers that were upset about not being able to be in the Games.

"Just like old times." I said to Peeta. "I love you."

"I love you too."

With that we dashed forward. I had my bows out and was firing before we got close enough for real contact. I only got three of them down, but that was enough. Peeta was fighting off two of the biggest men, not even carrying weapons. A girl approached me with a dagger in her hand, she was gorgeous. I could only imagine the celebrity life she would have had if she won a Games. The Capitol would have loved her and she had been training to win. In her eyes I took away her glory. I lifted my leg and kicked the dagger out of her hand, sending it flying across the street. She let out a cry in pain as I took my bow and shot it through her chest.

Peeta had gotten one of the men, down on the ground and bleeding from his throat. "Pay attention!" He screamed at me, and I turned around to a boy slightly taller than me about to attack. I ducked down, making him miss, but just slightly.

"Remind me to thank you!" I screamed into the air. Still on the ground, I was able to stand on his back and force him to stay there, until I felt my entire body thrown. I felt the wind get knocked out of me as I looked up to a soldier. She lifted her foot to bash my face in, but I rolled out of the way. I was waiting for her to catch up with me, but she never did. I saw her get thrown to the side, and Haymitch helped me up.

"If you live through this, I am going to kill you."

"Like I haven't heard that before. Thank you." The girl came back towards us, Haymitch lifted her up by the neck and turned her head sideways quickly. The snap was loud and her body limp in seconds. He threw he back down and looked for his next target, "How'd you win your games again?" I asked, sarcastically. We were down to about eight soldiers, when we saw another group of twenty coming towards us. "Do we have anymore soldiers?" I asked, going hand to hand with the strongest girl I have ever met.

"We killed your pathetic army, if you can even call it that. They didn't even last a day. Thanks for the ride though." Before realizing what I was doing, I screamed and I bashed her face in with my fist. We both fell to the street and I continued to punch her, my fists wet with her blood.

Haymitch tried to pull me off of her, "Katniss! Stop she's dead!" I had a lump in my throat and I felt my stomach knot up. Vomit creped up my throat and I threw up onto the street. My head was killing me, I was crying, I was sick- but I had to keep going. Haymitch pulled me up. "There are already ten of us here, Katniss. You're doing great. Just keep going."

And so I did, just like I always do. We all kept fighting. I saw Gale in the mob and I nodded to him. He smirked at me, cocky as always. In a second, the street was covered in smoke. It burned my eyes and my lungs to the point of tears. I ran through the mob until I finally got to clean air. I gasped as much as I could into my lung and let my eyes water. Haymitch ran out of the cluster and over to me coughing. He grabbed onto my shoulders and hugged me. Half of our soldiers came running out, miraculously still alive with only one career left.

Finally Gale came rushing out with a big smile on his face, "I got the last one! Shot him right in the torso!" As soon as he finished his sentence, a career came and jumped onto his back. I grabbed my last bow, and shot him in the head. He fell to the ground and the color drained from Gale's face. "I know I counted correctly. He shouldn't have been there."

"Gale who did you shoot?"

My heart pounded in my chest. It was just a miscalculation. There must have been one more. Or maybe he accidentally shot one of our soldiers. I felt my face get hot and a lump the size of Panem in my throat. I wasn't going to think it, because it wasn't even a possibility. The smoke cleared up and we could see all the bodies laying on the street. I was shaking and trembling. If my stomach hadn't just been emptied, I'm sure I would have vomited. It was just a soldier I kept telling myself. I walked closer to the clearing smoke. And I saw him.

"NO!" The scream was blood curdling and lasted three lifetimes. My vision turned red. I wasn't processing what happened. I ran to the street and dropped down. My boy. My beautiful baker had an arrow sticking out of his side. I picked up his body, and laid in my lap, "Say something." I wept. I brushed the hair out oh his eyes, his brow damp with blood and sweat, "Peeta, I know you're alive. Say something." I was screaming, crying, I didn't know what was happening. "You're alive!" I screamed at him. "You can't leave me! You're never going to leave me, real or not real?" I waited for a response, "Real or not real?" I screamed again, clutching his face in my hands.

"R-real."

I looked down, his eyes were screwed shut, but his chest was heaving. I was breathing heavy, I started to sob and crashed my face down to his. I stroked his hair and kissed every inch of his face. "You're alive." I kept repeating between kisses. His hand reached up and finally fell on the top of my head with a thud. I felt my heart break over and over again at the thought of him dying. I laid on his chest, sobbing until a helicopter to take him to the hospital came. I didn't leave his side for one second, and no one tried to stop me. I gripped his hand the entire way there, and sat in the room as the operated on him and gave him stitches.

Luckily, none of his vital organ were hit. I was officially changing his name to The Boy Who Beats the Odds. He would just need to stay in the hospital from the blood loss and until the stitches were ready to come out. Everyone knew I wasn't legally allowed to be with him, but again, no one was even going to try to stop me.

After a few hours the anesthetics wore off, and his eyes fluttered opened a little bit. He gestured for me to come closer and I crawled into the small bed with him, careful to watch his stitches. I looked up at him and started to cry again. He shushed me and wrapped his arms around me.

"You almost die, yet you're still the one comforting me." I said, and laughed with tears still running down my eyes.

"It's gonna take more than a pesky arrow to take me out, President Mellark." He could call me that every day for the rest of his life and I wouldn't care, because he would be saying it and as long as he was saying it he was alive.

"Never leave me."

"Never."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Super long chapter ahhh. Katniss had to fight, she just had to. Next chapter will be confronting Gale about what happened and maybe Haymitch and Effie depending on the length. This one was supposed to be two separate chapters, but I'm starting college this week and I don't know when I'll be able to post next. Hope you enjoy and continue to enjoy xx.<em>


	8. Life and Death

Chapter 8: Life and Death

Effie wanted to make the announcement from the hospital. It had been three days since the riot and Peeta was just starting to feel better. Those three nights I stayed with him, only leaving to use the bathroom or to get Peeta something from our room. He tried telling me to go sleep in our bed because I'd be more comfortable, but I refused. He would then offer for me to take the bed, then I would just ignore him.

A lot of the times Peeta would be sleeping from the pain medication. I'd read a book or sometimes just think. Every once in a while he would have other visitors that would stay and talk to me, mostly Haymitch, Prim, and Effie. He received tons of flowers, cards, and balloons in the small amount of time as well from all over Panem. I would read them to him if he was sleeping when they came in. They were all another reminder of what I was doing, what all of were doing, was something so much bigger than any of us could have imagined. When I held that berry to my lips, I had no idea that Shaynah, age 6 from District 4 was counting on me to save her. On Elijah from district 8. Or any of the people who sent us letters. For once, I was truly proud of myself.

I was sitting on the foot of Peeta's bed, gulping down hot chocolate with him when Effie came in. She was in a tizzy, her pink hair bouncing with each step. Before she even said anything I knew she had something planned, she seemed very proud of yourself.

"You can do the engagement announcement from right here! Panem will see Peeta getting better, the two of you being strong- it will be perfect!"

"Are you crazy? Seriously, Effie? Peeta almost died. I think that can wait."

"Katniss, the sooner the better." Effie tufted. I knew she thought I'd be all over the plan. We had already started doing some general planning and we were both extremely excited.

"Effie, I don't think that's a bad idea, I just don't think Katniss wants it to be this way. Besides, she's barely slept the past three nights. She needs to be well rested." I still didn't understand how Peeta and I could be on the same page but he could make it sound so much nicer than I could. I mouthed a "Thank you" to him and he winked at me.

"We still have your team from the Games! They can pretty you up in no time!"

"Effie, I need Peeta to be better before I can concentrate on anything else, okay?" Before I could defend my almost dying fiancé more, Haymitch came in.

He was very distraught. His eyes were red and puffy and he was staggering a little bit, hinting that he was probably drinking. I got up from the bed and went to lead him to a chair. As soon as I got to him, he pulled me into his arms and squeezed. I was used to Haymitch being affectionate, often calling me "his girl" or "his kid" instead of my name, but this was different. I pulled away slightly, still holding his arms tightly. He looked at me, a mix of sadness and relief in his watering eyes; I could only imagine what he saw in my own.

"What…?" I couldn't even form a question. Haymitch had always been my rock, the strong one that I could rely on. Seeing him so broken scared me more than anything, even the Games.

"There were some….autopsy results."

"Yeah?" I asked quietly. I knew it was sad, but I couldn't see that being the main reason. I knew there was something he wasn't telling us, something huge. He pulled me tight again and sobbed into my shoulder. "Haymitch, you're scaring me-"

"Annie was pregnant."

I tried to find words. I tried to find anything, anything at all, but I couldn't. I let Haymitch hold me. I let the silence suffocate me. I heard Effie gasp and Peeta try to get up. I looked back at him and shook my head, he sat back down immediately. Effie came over to Haymitch and I, and he wrapped one of his arms around her. I pulled away and I ran out of the room.

Guilt consumed me, body and soul. My vision blurred and I felt myself teetering down the long hallway. I needed to escape. I needed to not be myself anymore. I needed to not be responsible for death. I got to my knees and threw up, but my head was still spinning.

"Katniss? I wanted to talk to you I'm so sorry about…." Suddenly he realized why I was on the floor and arms were helping me up, strong familiar arms. Gale looked alarmed, true worry etched in the face I knew so well. "What happened?" I started to hit him. I punched, slapped, and grabbed at his chest while he just held on to me. I bruised him, and he just accepted it.

"Why?" I demanded. I knew he didn't have the answers, but I couldn't help it. No one had the answered to my questions and I was tired of it. "Why was her name called?" He pulled me close and let me sob into him, "I want to go home." I wailed, my face scrunched up and ugly.

"Katniss, breathe." He soothed. I continued to ramble on. "What happened?"

"Annie was pregnant. Now she's dead, and the baby is dead and Finnick is dead. And it's my fault. I am responsible for the death of an entire family."

"No-"

"Yes I am. Because of Prim's name was never called I _never_ would have gone into the Arena. None of this would have happened!"

"Exactly Katniss- none of this would have happened! Right now more people would be dying. But because of you, people are alive. An entire country is better off. You need to stop blaming yourself."

"My entire life is different. I'm different. _We're _different, Gale."

He laughed and kissed the top of my head, "I know." I held onto him longer, thinking about a life of what could have been. Not a better life, but certainly an easier one. Where Peeta would have died in the Game, and I never would have known him. Where I would hunt with Gale every day until the next Reaping, and all the ones after where I never got called and neither did Prim. A life where everything I expected happened. Everything would have continued on as normal.

"I don't want to feel guilty anymore."

Gale walked me back to Peeta's room where Haymitch and Effie were talking still. Gale joined them while I climbed into bed with Peeta. His eyes were red and puffy, just like mine. "I love you." He mouthed to me. I rested my hand on his face and felt my eyes water again.

War is a funny thing with life and death. So many lives had been lost, people I loved with all my heart, people I hated with a passion that I couldn't explain, and complete strangers. All of us fighting because we were tired of slowly dying in the hell hole that was expected of us. People who knew they may not make it out alive were fighting because maybe their kids could have a better life, and know more happiness. I didn't know where the balance was, how many people had died and how many would now be happier. How many of us would be suffering because we were still alive, and how many were at peace because they were dead.

Eventually Gale left, Haymitch came over and hugged both of us, Effie kissed our cheeks, and we were alone. "Sometimes I feel like this will never stop."

"I know."

"Do you think it will?"

"I think that it will get better, but that we will always carry our experiences with us in our hearts. We'll live, Katniss. They would want us to live."

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><p><strong>AN: College is insane but I love it and I did well on my midterms. I figured this was a decent length, the beginning was rough on me, but the last 800 words just flowed right out. I hope you enjoy, and hopefully the next update will happen sooner! Stay amazing guys!<strong>


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